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转帖!写的太感人了!开学了,Wellesley 妈妈给女儿的一封信 (中英文) | 温哥华教育中心


maohu
maohu 于 2017-9-12 19:13 写道:
来源:CindyXZ 君子微言

“我想尽我所能,传授给你一些人生智慧。但我知道你终究要过你自己的生活,走你自己的路。这一路你会犯错误,你会吸取教训......”




[align=start]我最亲爱的女儿,

我和爸爸已经回家整整一天了。今天是美国的劳动节长周末。早晨醒来,我打开了“威尔斯利日程表”,看看你今天会做什么。虽然我们知道你已经扬帆远航,完全有能力独自驾驭生活,但当我和爸爸都不在你身边时,我还是会担心。从微信群里父母的热烈讨论中可以看出,当我们的孩子长大成人后第一次离家远去时,做父母的都会有这样的感觉,这是人之常情啊。

在许多方面,在你的成长之路上,你是一个完美的孩子,你积极向上、严于律己。你注册了你感兴趣的俱乐部,你总是用心做你喜欢做的事情。我们从来都不用去叮嘱你。因为我们没有在美国上过高中,我们没法帮助你在高中选课,也未能在你的大学申请中提供指导。现在,你有幸进入威尔斯利学院,一所精英女子大学, 那里培养了一些世界上著名的政治家,外交官,公务员,记者和商业领袖。 我们为你感到无比骄傲。[/align][align=start]现在,你的人生开始了一个新的篇章。未来的四年,将是你的人生价值观和世界观发展成型的关键时期。在威尔斯利这样的大学,我应该没什么可担心的,我完全相信你会成为一个前程无量、内外兼修的年轻女性。但作为母亲,我仍然希望告诉你一些我自己的想法,从我的经验中吸取一些教训。希望你不会觉得我太絮叨了。[/align][align=start][/align][align=start]
1.健康安全第一[/align][align=start]
身体健康——远离危险和疾病:据新生教务长劳利.藤斯尔 (Lori Tenser) 说,威尔斯利的校园是很安全的。 但是,你还是不能放松警惕! 当你晚上散步时,特别是来回离宿舍比较远时,最好是有一个人和你在一起。 如果去波士顿城里,跟朋友一起去,带上你的电话和充电器。总之,身处陌生的地方,一定要小心谨慎。[/align][align=start]你说过你想要注册参加攀岩、游泳或击剑课,这些都是不错的体育课,能够让课堂学习放松。但当你参加这些课程时,安全最重要,我不想让你受伤。[/align][align=start]
你知道你没有什么酒量,如果你参加了提供酒精饮料的聚会,请尽量不要接受劝酒,要适量、适可而止。[/align][align=start]
心理健康:第一年一切都很陌生,需要适应,就会有额外的压力。虽然学校已经做了很多安排,让你们尽快适应新的环境,但是在课程开始时,尤其是在期中和期末考试阶段,你仍然会感到压力。要知道大家都是在同一条船上,这并不仅仅只是你的感觉。当你情绪低落时,记住要放得开,让别人帮助你。当你有话想说时,我们时时刻刻都想听到你的声音。学校里还有辅导员和顾问可以帮助你。请记住,只要保持乐观的态度,就能够克服你可能遇到的任何困难。[/align][align=start]
你可能已经觉得我在健康和安全问题上够啰嗦的了,但你要知道只有当你身心都健康时,你才能集中精力去做你要做的事情。[/align][align=start][/align][align=start]2.构建一个优秀的朋友圈[/align][align=start]
你很幸运, 你的同学来自50多个不同的国家,这是一个非常多元化的国际大家庭,在这里诞生的友谊将会伴随你的一生。你已经有了12年的交友的经验,所以无需我告诉你如何去交朋友。我想说的是,威尔斯利的学生来自于不同的文化,不同的社会经济背景和不同的成长环境,每个人身上都有自己家庭价值的烙印。你会发现,有些人会有偏见、有特权、武断,甚至很不友好。[/align][align=start]
慢慢地你就会形成自己的好友圈,他们会支持你,带给你愉悦,这些是你可以信赖的人。[/align][align=start]与人打交道时要相信你的直觉,如果你对某些人感觉不爽,就远离他们。没有必要与这种人纠缠,或向他们证明你比他们想象的好。在他们身上你不值得去花费时间和精力。我希望你不要碰到这样的人,但在你的人生中你总会遇到这些人,就当这是一个历练的机会,因为你由此能够知己知彼。[/align][align=start][/align][align=start]3. 寻求理解,不要评判[/align][align=start]你在威尔斯利期间,我无需为此担心。你们的校长保拉·约翰逊 (Paula Johnson)博士在她的欢迎新生演讲中表示, 她强烈的支持威尔斯利成为一个容纳不同、代表公平和正义、追求真理、倾听民意并且一丝不苟的地方。我对这些话感到安慰,并且知道,威尔斯利会将年轻女性培养成拥有放眼世界、一视同仁和海纳百川的世界观。[/align][align=start]
然而,对于不同的人来说,实现这个世界观的历程可能会是不同的。上面的 “2”已经提及,由于不同的背景和成长环境的差异,你会遇到武断和有偏见的人,甚至会发现他们不友好甚至有敌意。不要为此生气或悲伤,且当作一个了解他们心理的机会。只有当你理解这些,你才会不为这些烦恼所扰。[/align][align=start][/align][align=start]4. 不要太在意别人的感觉[/align][align=start]
咦? - 也许是你对这个建议的反应。父母通常教孩子礼貌、感恩、体贴和分享。你是在这样的教导下长大的。你天生就有一个非常善良的心,甚至不忍心看到一个小动物受伤害。我永远不用担心你会对别人自私、粗鲁或不友善,因为你完全相反。[/align][align=start]
但是,我担心你会太友好、太善良、太在意别人的感受,当你遇到不合理的请求时,或者当你显然是被利用时,你不会说不。[/align][align=start]
所以不要过于善良,不要因为考虑别人的感受而牺牲自己的幸福。如果有什么让你感到不痛快的,就说不,并且给出理由(可以是“这样做会让我觉得不舒服”,或“我现在没有时间”)。当你公平和诚实地与他人交往时,他们不会对你生气,他们会理解你,他们会尊重你的决定。[/align][align=start][/align][align=start]5. 树立自信[/align][align=start]女儿,你是个低调的人,不喜欢炫耀自己的成就,也不喜欢引人瞩目。这是典型的内向型性格,常被误以为确乏自信。你要知道,无论你以后从事什么职业,学会表现自己是非常重要的。人是通过交流而彼此了解的。[/align][align=start]你很幸运,威尔斯利把培养学生交流沟通和表现自己的能力做为重要的必修课。我希望你充分利用这个机会,得到这方面的专业训练。[/align][align=start]树立自信心首先要不做作,接受自身的优缺点,不去做东施效颦之事。人各有异,每个人各有长项和短板。跟人相处交流,要着重彰显自己的长处,同时有意识地改进自身的不足之处。[/align][align=start][/align][align=start]#6 专业选择[/align][align=start]对此,我们曾有过很多讨论。以我在企业25年的工作经验,我亲历了热爱一份工作与憎恶一份工作的巨大差别。你应当选择一个你感兴趣、擅长而且彰显你长处的专业。这样的话,你会热爱你所从事的职业,它会成为你的事业,它会让你觉得人生有奋斗的目标和意义。从事这样的工作,你不一定会富有。你若幸福,我们便心满意足。[/align][align=start][/align][align=start]#7 谈一场恋爱[/align][align=start]我不准备说太多,但我觉得如果遇到中意的,你应当毫不犹豫地去爱一场。大学四年是很美好的时光,你会遇到很多有相同价值观、世界观和类似兴趣爱好的人。记住不管你爱上了谁,这个人应当也爱你、珍惜和欣赏你,而不是要试图改变你,或者让你觉得卑微。[/align][align=start]引用电影 “5点到7点钟” 里的一句话:“人生是不同时刻的汇聚,其理想是去拥有各种美好的时刻”。 女儿,我希望你的一生充满色彩斑斓的美好时刻。[/align][align=start]我已经尽我所能,传授给你我的人生智慧。但我知道你要过你自己的生活,走你自己的路。这一路你会犯错误,你会吸取教训。自省和反思的能力对一个人的成长很重要,我希望你具备这种能力。[/align][align=start][/align]
楼主
发糕
发糕 于 2017-9-12 19:13 写道:
有病,读大学的孩子有耐心看完才怪
第 1 楼
maohu
maohu 于 2017-9-12 19:13 写道:
最后,我想引用 Bob Dylan 的歌词 “永远年轻” 送给你,它也代表了我对你的祝福:


愿上帝保佑你
愿你的美梦都能成真
愿你无私助人
也接受他人馈赠
愿你筑梯摘星
步步拾级
愿你永远年轻
永远年轻
愿你永远年轻
愿你长成正直之人
愿你保持真诚
愿你世事洞彻
亦不摒弃光明
愿你勇往直前
昂首挺立不惧风险
愿你永远年轻
永远年轻
愿你永远年轻
愿你的双手永远充实
愿你的步伐永远轻快
愿你踏实坚强
即使世事无常
愿你的心中欢乐满溢
你的歌谣能永远唱响
愿你永远年轻
永远年轻
愿你永远年轻

第 2 楼
maohu
maohu 于 2017-9-12 19:15 写道:
英文版 ( English Version) 




September 3, 2017

My Dearest Daughter,

Dad and I are back home for a whole day now. It is the Labor Day long weekend. I woke up this morning and opened the “My Wellesley Schedule” to see what you would be doing today. Although we know that we leave you in good hands and that you are fully capable of living independently, I am still a bit worried when one of us is not with you.  I guess it is a common feeling for a parent when their young adult first left home, judging from the “noisy” parents’ chatroom that we signed up for.

In many ways, you had been the perfect kid growing up. You were self-motivated, and disciplined. You signed up for the clubs you were interested in, and put your heart into it. We never had to nag you to do anything. Because we did not attend high school in the US, we could not really offer words of wisdom on how to navigate through the high school course selections or college applications, you did that all on your own. Now you are in Wellesley College, the elite female school that has trained some of the world most famous politicians, diplomats, public servants, journalists and business leaders, we can’t be more proud of you.

You are beginning a new chapter of your life now. The next four years will be a critical period at shaping up your value system and your world view. I should have nothing to worry about when you are in a college like Wellesley, I am fully confident that you will turn out to be a wonderful young woman with unlimited possibilities. But as a parent, I would still like to impress on you a few thoughts of my own, some are lessons learnt from my own experience. Hope you don’t feel that I am overbearing.   








1.  (First and Foremost) Be Healthy & Safe

Physical health – away from danger and illness: The Wellesley campus is very safe according to the first-year class Dean (Lori Tenser), but still, don’t be complacent when you walk around in the night, and try to have someone walk with you when it is a long walk to/from your dorm. When you go to Boston, go with a friend, and have your phone with you and bringing a charger. All in all, exercise caution when you are out in an unfamiliar place.




You mentioned that you wanted to sign up for rock-climbing, swimming or fencing classes, these are good physical education classes and good alternatives to class-room learning, but again, be safe when you join those classes, I don’t want you get hurt.

You know you don’t have much alcohol tolerance. If you are in a party that serves alcohol drinks, try not to be influenced by others and take what you can handle.

Mental health:  The first year can be a very stressful time with everything new. Although the school has done a lot to get you situated and settled in, you may still feel the stress when classes start, especially during mid-term and final time. Do know that everyone is in the same boat, and it is not just you feeling it. Remember to open up and let others help you when you are feeling down. We are always here to hear you when you want to talk. There are mentors and counseling services to support you as well. Remember there is always a way to get out of any predicament you might be in, so stay hopeful and positive.

You may already feel that I am being unnecessarily wordy on the health and safety issue, but do know that only when you have a healthy mind and body can you function and give 100% of yourself.








2.  Form a Community of Good Friends

You are blessed to be in a very diverse community with students coming from over 50 different countries.  Some of the friendship you forge here will sustain you a lifetime. I don’t need to tell you how to make friends because you have had the experience in the past 12 years. But I do want to say that students at Wellesley are from different cultures, different socioeconomic background, and different upbringings, each comes with an imprint of their own family values. You will inevitably find that some are more prejudiced than others, some more privileged than others, some more judgmental than others, and some even meaner than others.

In time, you will have your circle of good friends, those will be the people who support you, make you feel good about yourself, and those will be the people you can trust.

Trust your instinct when dealing with people. If they make you feel bad or inferior about yourself, walk away. There is no need to associate with this type of people or prove to them you are better than they thought you are. They are not worth your time and effort. I hope you don’t come across these people, but you will meet them here or there going through life, consider it a bless because it makes you learn about yourself and about them.








3.  Seek to Understand, but Not to Judge

This is not something I should worry about when you are at Wellesley. Your president, Dr. Paula Johnson, in her welcome speech had voiced her strong support for Wellesley to be a place that “embraces difference, stands for equity and justice, for the pursuit of knowledge that is based in fact, and for civil discourse that is inclusive while challenging in its rigor”. I am comforted by these words and know that Wellesley will shape the young women to have a bigger, non-discriminatory, and more inclusive world view.

However, the journey it takes to get to this world view may be different for everyone. In connection with #2 above, because of the diverse background and upbringings, you will meet people who are more judgmental and prejudiced, you will even find them offensive, and not nice. Don’t get angry or sad about it, treat it as an opportunity to understand their psychology. Only when you understand it, can you truly let go of what’s troubling you.








4.  Don’t Be too Considerate

Huh? – might be your reaction to this advice. Parents usually teach their kids to be polite, courteous, considerate and sharing. You have been brought up this way. By nature, you have a very kind heart, can’t even stand to see a small animal hurt. I never have to worry that you’d be selfish, rude or unkind to others, because you are completely the opposite.

However, I worry that you are too nice, too kind, and too considerate, that you are not able to say no when a request is unreasonable, or when you are obviously being taken advantage of.

So don’t be too nice and too considerate of others’ feelings at the expense of your own well-being. If something makes you uncomfortable, just say no and give your reason why (it can be just “I am not comfortable of doing it”, or “I don’t have the time now”). When you deal fairly and honestly with others, they won’t be mad at you, they will understand and they will respect your decision.








5.  Be Confident

You are a very humble person by nature, don’t like to boast your accomplishments, and don’t like to draw attention to yourself. This is the typical introvert personality, and often mistaken for lack of confidence. You will realize that demonstrating yourself is very important no matter what profession you choose later. People only get to know you when you speak of yourself.




Again you are blessed that Wellesley recognizes the importance and establishes the communication /presentation skills as the core of their curriculum. I hope you will take full advantage of this and get the professional training here.

A big part of being confident is to be comfortable with yourself, to accept who you are, and not try to be someone else. Each person comes with a unique personality profile. Like everyone else, you have your strengths and weaknesses. When communicating with others, it is important to emphasize your strengths while quietly improving on your weaknesses.








6.  Choose a Major

We have many talks about this already. Working in the private corporations for 25 years, I have first-hand experience of the difference it makes when you are passionate about what you do, versus when you dread what you do. You should choose a field that you are interested in, that you are good at, and that utilizes your strengths. When you do so, you will have passion at what you do, and it will be a career, and it will give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It may not be a field that makes you rich. But as long as you are happy, we are happy.








7.  Fall in Love Once

I am not going to give you advice here, but thought you should at least fall in love once. College is a good time to do that because you will find people of comparable values and views, and similar interests. Remember that whoever you fall in love with, the person should love and appreciate who you are, not try to change you or make you feel inadequate.

Quoting the movie “5 to 7”: “Life is a collection of moments, the idea is to have as many good ones as you can”. I hope your life will be full of wonderful moments.

Although I want to impart as much wisdom as I have learnt through life, I know you will have to live your own life, make your own mistakes along the way and learn your own lessons. The ability to introspect and reflect is important for you to grow. I hope you acquire that ability.




In the end, I want to quote the lyrics from Bob Dylan’s song “Forever Young” and send to you as they represent my wishes for you as well:

[align=start][/align][align=start](图片全部来自威尔斯利家长群,一并致谢!)[/align]

May God bless you and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
And may you stay forever young
May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay forever young
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young
第 3 楼
maohu
maohu 于 2017-9-12 19:15 写道:
发糕 写道:
有病,读大学的孩子有耐心看完才怪


不会吧,要是我爸妈专门给我写这个,我肯定看好几遍
第 4 楼
wukalung
wukalung 于 2017-9-12 19:55 写道:
Wellesley College, Massachusetts. 👍
第 5 楼
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